My first salary. Happy or sad? Either?

*These was only my heart talking.

Now, I wanna to type off what I'm feeling right now. After my employer hand over my first salary. Even though I've been published this post to this blog, means that it probably readable for anyone. Actually I prefer not to let everyone to read this but I knew, only a some who was concerned and willing to visit this boring blog. And I decided not to send this post's link to my Facebook as I used to do with the other posts before.

It was a wait. A little bit not more than the wait that I had felt while waiting for having a job since coming back home from KISAS. As the first day of March peeked the week, the wait was began. Waiting for my right. For the change of my strength that had been used as much as I can to the book store for the greater service. Finally my employee only hand over the cash 4 days after that. I got RM 456.15 for the past month's salary. (Basic salary RM 500.00, deducted by RM 41.60, for the Chinese New Year holiday and RM 2.25 for SOCSO, a kind of insurance, by these, I got my salary).

Then, not only that, since I had been hired by my employer by 25th January, I got extra for the extra days. I got RM 96.25 (5 days on the Jan's times RM 19.25 per day). Total salary: RM 456.15 + RM 96.25 = RM 552.40. Huhu, seems not bad huh.

What I've been planned before?
Many. I mean, not too many and not too special. This was my list that I've been jot down on my Papermate Sticky Note.
FIRST LIST
1. New wrist watch
2. Facial Cleanser
3. Water gloss hair wax.
4. Deodorant.
5. Replace my spectacle's lens. (I'm getting blurred)
6. Buy Zehann's novel online.
7. New haircut.
8. New keyboard, mouse for the computer.
9. New earpiece for my MP3. 
Approximately: RM 250.
I also planned to:
SECOND LIST
1. Sent a hundred to my dad.
2. Give a hundred to my mom.
3. Treat my family.
4. Bank in around a hundred or hundred and a half for days in Klang.
Approximately: RM 300

But, this list just remained listed. I didn't think these could be fulfilled. This was my new list:
THIRD LIST
1. New wrist watch.
2. New haircut.
3. Some toiletries.
4. Expenditure for my trip to Klang for the SPM result. For 3 days.
*And I only got RM 200

I did call my mom before she arrived to catch me up from work and I'm saying, "Mom, let's go to KFC tonight." She seems glad in her voice. Then, when I told her I got RM 550+ when riding the car, she said she's tired, next time we can spend time there.

She got a hundred and she needed a hundred more for paying car installment. Total: RM 200. I knew, the real value needed was RM 300. Then I noticed, goods in our house was getting finished. I only got RM 550+, so what I need to do??

I had made a decision. I'll takes RM 200 and the rest I'll hand it to my mom. And I've done it. I just able to fulfilled the THIRD LIST with this RM 200. Plus, for my way to KISAS back. This situation made me a little bit upset.

Then, I kept telling myself. Be grateful, be grateful. Try to be grateful to Allah, better than nothing. And I've made it. I'm really grateful with what I've got now. But I can't hide the other feeling out of my heart. Kind of disappointed. I worked hard, and faced many tough work, I felt like this was not worth it. Yes, I admit that through all the days on the store, I also tried to make myself done the best, and to be sincere. So, the tire was not seems to appear. But, I still could feel the hard work. Anyway,  mine was not bad enough compared to my friends. They only got RM 450+.

The only things I wanna expressed here, that I'm so sad for the not-could-be-fulfilled-list. Huhu. Never mind, maybe next time. InsyaAllah, I'll get a better tomorrow.

O Allah, I'm not trying to grumble what had been fated for me. I'm just expressing what I felt. Please, I beg You, Please strengthen my faith for facing any of your test, forgive my sins, and may all the things happened hided some hikmah(meaning). Put away any sedition of the Devil that could made me lost, and being ungrateful. Amin...

Pictures of Hollis Woods.

I've bought a book, I mean a masterpiece of Patricia Reilly Giff, or in other word, a novel entitled Pictures of Hollis Woods when I was in KISAS in 2009, last year. Urm, actually, when I observing the Scholastic's catalogue, I've no any intention to buy this book, as the front cover was not attractive at all, it just made the buyers have the first expression, the bad one, toward the content, by the cover. So do I, at first I thought this book wasn't interesting at all, maybe the boring one. Despite I had a thought like that, yet I managed to buy a copy. Just to make the overall total of purchase of RM30. Haha. I forgot how much it cost.

Anyway, I'll write some overview about this book here. Pictures of Hollis Woods was a story of a 12-year-old girl named Hollis Woods, who was an orphan that had been left by her parents with only a note, said 'Just call her Hollis Woods'. She owned an outstanding talent; drawing. She really demanding a family. Then, at the age of 12, she's being adopted by a family, Regan family. Being a part of the family made her felt the pleasure of having her own family. But she's always worried about the relationship between the Old Man, his adopted father and his son, Steven, her adopted brother which seems cold. She thought that her present was creating the mess. Then she made an escape back to the orphanage house, then she's being adopted by an old women named Josie. She's really liked the Regan family, making her wondering, were they accept her back to their family if she come to them back?

My comment for this novel, this novel wasn't so great. No any outstanding plot or surprising event or unexpected one. Just monotone, without climax (or there was one, just me can't detect it's presence). I'm not sure this kind of novel suitable for what kind of person, 'cause this novel was just dull. Just read the novel if you want to know more (but I bet nobody desperate to have even a glimpse at the novel after I'm saying this).

Anybody want to have a read on it? Contact me. InsyaAllah I'll lend it to you.

P/S: The cover looked boring, isn't it?

My Blog.

Why I'm involved in blogging?
Influence. My friends got into blogging, and so do I. I thought this another way of getting yourself on the net was really great. Besides Friendster, Myspace, Facebook, and many other interesting social web pages, I thought I couldn't lose anything for trying blogging. And now, I got my own blog, blog of a beginner. This one.

Why I'm using English in my blog?
I want to conquer the language that I've learnt since I was in the kindergarten. It doesn't meant that I loved and admired or really liked this international language, not at all. I just wanna be strong in it, make it my second language and the most important, I could have the skills to communicate with the foreigners. Hah, skills. Communicating skills. Knowing the language was not enough without the skills. Even thought my English was not good enough until then, yes, I realized it, I still gonna make it as my blog's language, so that I could practice, at least in writing. I could speak a bit, and I'm still in learning phase. But then, I still using Malay on the shoutbox beside. Huhu~

What was the feedback from the others to this blog?
Before that, the majorities of my blog's viewers was my friends in KISAS, and not forgotten, some of my friends from Seri Manjung. A very bit of them really liked my blog, and understand me, why I did these and those in here and they also supported me. They made me felt I'm very lucky to have them. Some words from them really put a strength on me. Negative feedback, I couldn't see any until now. Out of some of my friends that I mentioned before just not criticize nor expressing any unsatisfactory towards my blog. They just kept in silence.

How about the visitors?
Only a few, countable. I thought I need to put more effort in publicizing my blog in other web pages, and I've done some in Facebook. But then, still, less visitors. I think I know why. Because of the lingua franca here. I wrote in English, so they felt my post just wasting their time. They need to read one by one, and paragraph by paragraph, to get what I really meant here. I'm not blaming them, I knew, this was just unfavorable. They more rather prefer blogs that using simple language, Malay, 'sempoi'  and not complicated. Essay-like blog like mine? Duh~ I do have made a visit to other's blog. They more prefer fancy, colourful, using many emoticon, and highlighting there and here with many type of colours, and most of them made their post in align center. I'm not them, sorry. (I also found out a trend where some blogger put dropping object in their blog, I think, it just messing up your blog..)

These some of FAQ for my blog. Some of the reader/visitors may like or dislike my blog page, but I don't care. This is my blog and I've right to publicizing anything that I want, in my own way. If you want to criticize, go on, comment on the post or just post some quotes on the shoutbox. Simple. Thanks for any courageous  comment. I really appreciate that. For the haters, kept your hatred feeling by yourself, I don't care. Haha.

Sick.

MasyaAllah. When I woke up this morning, I felt like my nasal cavity was being filled with something: solid-fluid-like substances. Great. I woke with my nose clogged. My head was very dizzy, as if I tried to stand up, my head was very heavy as it kept telling me that it should be on pillow. I'm sick today. Another test from Allah

My first thought that came across my mind was, can I go for work today? At first, I thought I'm gonna be alright, just keep my strength enough for it. But, it faded just like that. I'm not gonna make it today. All I don was, laying on bed and continued my sleep, until the noon.

My mom told me that she's going to call Mr. Chea, so he will be informed for my absent. Right after that, I send a text message to Shahrul and informed him about my condition. He just replied the message just now, approximately 9 hours later. Huhu. He told me that it was not a big deal, but Mr. Chea told them, anyone who was present today, was the ones who should come for work tomorrow. I'm asking him about me. How about me? If I do want to come tomorrow? He said, no need. I'm just be there on Monday until Saturday.

So, hope I'll getting well sooner, so I could go for work on Monday.

First day on work.

Tired. That's the only word that could explain everything. Quite funny when I was there at 12 noon, and I'm asking everyone there, "Now, what I suppose to do?". Really awkward. I don't know any of them at all. There was 9 workers there in total including me. 3 men, and 6 women, had been hired by Mr. Chea (I still didn't knew  the exact spelling of my employer's name, huhu). So far, I've been introduced to Shahrul, Syafiq, Kak Yana, and Aten, and someone that I ever knew her. Read more. The rest, I still don't know their names. 2 of the girls was Indians.

They were so kind to me. Yet, very open-handed in accepting me as the new employee. I've been told by Aten that most of them started working there since 1 Jan. They looked like enjoyed for being there. Most important thing, there's no any of them being arrogant nor something like that, yet bad attitudes. Even though this was my first day in the premise, they acted as I've been there as long as them.

One of them, Mona Fatin (my ex-classmate when I'm standard 6), acting so cold. Making the situation just like this day was the first day we met. I couldn't let this, so I acted just like her. The most funniest part, when we accidentally met at the paper sector of the store. I looked at her and she looked at me. Each other made a surprise mimic. Haha. Then, she turned and went away from there. So do I. Then, I kept thinking, how stupid these was. So, when she had some work near to the place where I'm situated, I asked her, "Where did you've been after the primary school?" Then, she asked me back, " Where do you want me go? " And I say wherever. Right after that, we could talk to each other, without letting the hypocrisy in ourselves.We've been talking about our past classmates too.

Overall, not bad be as one of them. Even though in my first day, I needed to bind-punch all 10 rim of paper, all by myself. 1 rim, 450 sheets of paper, 10 rim, 4500 rim. Huh, only God knew how tired it was, standing in front of the binding tool, almost half-day. Then, all the bind-punched papers needed to be rearranged to 30 sheets per pile for another packaging. But, I liked this.

Hope I'll got more strength onwards, don't let any bad things could let me down.

P/S: Mr. Chea was a great boss. Stern? Not him.

I've been holding this stuff for most of the hours on the store.